Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
