I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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