Soap is not a condiment
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
