3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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