you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
