Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
