My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
