I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
