I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
