Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
