So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
