I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
