And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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