gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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