TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The air taste purple.
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