smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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