brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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