Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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