I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
