I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
