You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
