Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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