love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
