all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
