that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
