Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
