Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
