I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize