you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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