I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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