my sisters under your porch take her home
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
