I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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