and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
