I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize