franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize