just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
