you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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