she looked like the bat from fern gully.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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