just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I see more hoeing in ur future
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