hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
