sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
