people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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