did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
