to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
