dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think I sprained my soul last night
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
