I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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