So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
