I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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