I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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