I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize