i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
