i don't like sucking hair
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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