Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
