You work out of a Hotel?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
