feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize