fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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