wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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