Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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