I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
