Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
