I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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