Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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