i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
