I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
